Don't Be "That" Mom...or DO

            I get quite tired of all of the Mommy Wars going on. It’s quite strange. We talk about how men are such mean goblins, but most of the things I hear don’t come from the guy in line at the bank, it comes from other women; other moms specifically. I have a few friends that I love dearly who post all of these cool things they do with their kids, and I’m happy they have the time. I have been guilty of unwittingly participating in the Mommy Wars with my comments about them being Martha Stewart or a Stepford Wife.  

            It wasn’t until an unfiltered, no bull crap friend pointed out all of my mommy judgment, that I finally saw the error in my ways. Yes, a couple of my friends post photos that would make you believe they stand around with a fifties style perfectly pressed dress, and pearls laid gently around their delicate necks. And then there are moms like me, who feel like they deserve a marathon finisher’s medal for keeping the kids alive for another day. Both of these types of moms are fabulous mothers, and I’m not just saying that because I’m the latter of the two.

Let me tell you a secret that some women seem to forget. We are all different people. We were different little girls that grew up into different women, and eventually completely different mothers. I’m going to throw another curve ball at you, buckle your seat belts y’all. Some women do not want kids. I actually said that and I did not spontaneously combust. I have a supervisor who is a great mother to her stepdaughter. If she had her own child, I have no doubt that she would continue to knock motherhood out of the park. Here’s the thing, she has no desire to squeeze a small human out of her lady bits. She also has no desire to parent full time, and you know what? Being a mother means making the best decisions for yourself, your family and your future; she has done that flawlessly.

            Motherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and your kids will love you regardless. Stressing out about not cooking a meal daily is just silly. They’ll love you just the same if you let them have a bowl of cereal for dinner every once in a while. You packed their lunch, but it didn’t have fancy cut out sandwiches and veggies, eh, they’re eating aren’t they. Pat yourself on the back for being able to find the energy to pack their lunch instead of yelling “don’t they feed you at school” as they run for the bus, like I do most days. Enjoy the moments you get with your kids, and if anyone wants to start a Mommy War with you, proudly proclaim “THEY’RE STILL ALIVE, AREN’T THEY?!” as you flip them the bird.

As Always, Stop Yelling At Me…please!

-          J

               

Santa and Your Screaming Kid

So, I was talking to my office mate the other day about Santa and everyone's Santa and  screaming kid pictures we see on our feeds. I posed the question: Why is this an acceptable thing to do? 

It sort of goes against the child's basic instinct, and should go against the parents instinct as well. For some reason every year from the time you sneeze a baby out of your hoo ha, we shove them on some strange mans lap and tell them to like it and smile. 

After instilling in them never to go with strangers, we force them upon a stranger's knee while they scream, cry and look completely terrified, wondering why you aren't saving them. Am I the only one that thinks it's weird? Telling a kid to ignore that little thing in the pit of their stomach, that's there to help them sense danger, seems weird to me and confusing. If not for that gut feeling, they may not know when someone or something feels off. Like I said, the feeling is there for a reason. Yes, sometimes, especially in an anxious child, they need to know that the feeling can be wrong from time to time. It still exists to keep you safe.

I've never made my kids do the whole photo with Santa thing because it didn't sit right with me and we didn't really do Santa as a being that would creep down your chimney and instead of robbing you, leave gifts. 

In fact, my daughter actually had a very sound and logical point about Santa; if he were a real person, he'd be charged with stalking and breaking and entering. Granted, she said this while I was furiously hurrying out of the bathroom before she scarred my then 5 year old for life, but she had a valid point. 

So many parents give Santa the credit for their hard work and to keep thier kids in line throughout the year. I'm here to tell you, Santa is a bit creepy when you think about it, and to make your child sit on his lap may kind of freak them out.  

I'm not saying if you want your traditional santa pic that you're doing something wrong. You can do what you want, after all you sneezed them out. 

Merry Christmas, 

~J~